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1. Three brothers are sitting at the bar in a Moscow establishment. An older man is sitting at a table behind them and has obviously had too much vodka. He stands, walks up to the first brother and says,
"Your mother is a vicious, greedy woman!"
The brother tells him to shut up and go sit down.
After about 5 minutes, the old man stands and walks up to the second brother,
"I sleep with your mother whenever I want!"
Disgusted, the brother tells the old man to bugger off.
A few minutes later, the old man stands and starts walking towards the third brother. All three brothers turn around and yell,
"Dad, go home!"
2. You’re at a bad hotel when the bed mint moves.
3. "Visi, Vermini, Vomnui" ? I visited, I freaked, I threw up.
4. The President's Vacation
George and Laura Bush take a vacation to Crawford and decide to go the grocery store. In the checkout line, Laura recognizes the man working at the register as an old high school boyfriend. After chatting, they leave the store and George says,
"Wow, imagine if you had married him. You’d be married to a grocery store clerk now instead of the President of the United States."
Laura rolls her eyes and says, "No. I’d be married to the President of the United States."
5. "Veni, Veneri, Vamoosi" ? I came, I caught a disease, I ran away."
Typically, just the act of traveling produces more than a few funny moments. Get out there and go.